BlokesOnly.co.uk/.com was designed BY blokes FOR blokes (hence the scuffy look and lack of colour coordination). Our logo, the Purple Bowler, was a symbol of our pursuit of all things of interest to blokes......only.
That's right, there were no girlie influences here. You could relax.
We wouldn't force you into a supermarket on a Friday night, drag you round the shops on a Saturday afternoon or make you visit DIY stores on Sundays.
No, we were here to free you from the shackles of modern manhood and immerse you in a world of sport, cars, gadgets, sex and rock and roll.
We showed you the coolest toys for big boys, the hottest things on wheels, the steamiest women we could get photos of (thank you to all the Hot Women who participated in our modelling competitions over the years) and, wait for it, we had electrical goods (and we’re not talking fridges).
Yep, unless it was hi-fi, hi-octane, low-cut or half cut we just weren't interested.
And if it was pointless or really dangerous, fantastic!
We asked you to be a bloke and be proud of your strengths and your weaknesses.
Let's face it, we're great at doing one thing at a time. But two things, now that’s just silly. And we’ve got amazing memories for all sorts of stuff, but don’t ask us what you just said or when Aunty Jude’s silver wedding anniversary is.
And what other species could score a hole in one at golf but miss a toilet from one foot away. As for the laundry basket, well, forget it.
We asked you to embrace your strengths and leave us to help you with the woman stuff.
We recognised that relationships are tricky and blokes can get into trouble for the smallest things, like not buying flowers, forgetting birthdays and having affairs with other women.
We told you to never fear, Blokes Only was here.
We had a highly qualified Agony Uncle providing frank advice on all manner of relationship issues, from common problems such as three-in-a-bed etiquette to more rare issues such as how to bring a woman to climax.
And our revolutionary Blokes Organiser ensured that you never forgot another birthday or Valentines Day ever again. We sent you a reminder before the event with gift suggestions and quick access to card and flower shops. With just a few clicks your gift wrapped presie, card and flowers could be on their way without even leaving your chair. The birds loved you forever, all because of us.
And this is where we went wrong. We said this can only be a success if the girlies don't find out.
We thought that by operating underground and keeping our existence a closely guarded secret, we could help millions of red-blooded males keep a smile on the face of their loved ones and still have plenty of time to indulge in all the things that make a bloke a bloke.
Let’s not forget, weekends are for loafing in front of the biggest TV ever, playing footie, chasing eggs and hitting balls. And what Saturday night would be complete without a few quiet beers with the lads followed by a visit to Mr Vindaloo’s ring-burning establishment for the hottest thing on the menu.
We invited you to come with us on an exciting voyage through a land where every car is a Ferrari, beer is dispensed from cold water taps and the key to the gates of heaven is that pointy thing in your pants
We said you are a bloke, stand proud and let your bloke’ish tendencies run with the wind !!!!!
And then we said that’s it, buggar off and buy something so we can keep this piggin' site going.
But somewhere it all went horribly wrong, the girlies found us, they bought from us and started making demands. So we said to hell with it, this place is for blokes, so now we're selling up. If you or someone you know would like a couple of great domain names (blokesonly.co.uk and blokesonly.com) just make us an offer so we can get the hell out of Dodge.